What to do With Warm Up Writing

Posted on | May 5, 2012 | No Comments

I began writing daily in 1972 in a school composition notebook but it wasn’t until 1991 that I published my first book. I had no intention of becoming published when I first picked up my pen. I just wanted to write. But with two decades of daily writing I was, in fact, preparing myself for eventual publication. What better practice can there be than writing daily for twenty years?

Writing daily taught me a great deal about picking up the pen and flowing with it. At first I wrote about the stress of being away from home, my emotions, my plans for my life. I wanted to be in control of what I wrote because I had something in mind when I sat down to write; but I soon found out that the pen didn’t work that way. It would often wander off. I’d start writing about my plan and soon I was writing about a date I had. Or I’d start writing about the agony in the relationship I had with my mother and wind up writing about the grey day. I noticed that once I began speaking from that intimate place it often branched out hungering for new things about which to write. And I saw that if I had something to say but kept my writing shallow my frustration would grow so strong it would feel like it was tearing me up until I let my pen speak deeper, such a recalcitrant child it can be. The pen is a wild stallion in the kitchen when it wants to run in the field just outside the door.

Using my pen became the most cherished part of my day and I picked it up each morning while sipping a cup of tea. It set the tone for my day. It brought me into contact with the richness of life that lived inside me. I began filling up journal books at a rate of one every two months. Currently I am on my 90th journal. Although I always type out my manuscripts on the computer, when I write journal entries, I have to pick up the pen. It seems a different voice speaks. The voice that comes out when I use the computer has more to do with my rational mind. When I pick up my pen well — anything goes — but the feeling is definitely heart and body centered and I love it. Its as if the messages from my heart and body only work down my arm and through my pen. I love the feel of the journal, the sight of the blank page with all its permission to tell it ALL, and the touch of the paper, sometimes a little textured and sometimes smooth as marble.

Warm up writing, which I now see from all those years of journal writing, has served to develop my inner voice. You know that inner voice — it is the one no one hears. It is the voice that speaks to you 24/7 while you are going about your life thinking, observing, witnessing, talking, dreaming, washing dishes, and all the zillions of things you do each day. When you write warm up, that inner voice is shouting for joy that it finally has a way to play with you, talk to you, share with you. Let it run the page.

So what to do with warm up writing? Let it show you the nature of your muse. Let it take you on paths you never thought you’d step a foot on. Let it walk you through the dense woods, the high heavens, the emotions you thought could never exist inside you. Let it be unfettered.

Check out Poetry Victims — my poem Stalker just got published online.
Check out www.storycircleonlineclasses.org Click on classes on the top and scroll down to My Life, My Words, My Voice. I’ll be teaching a memoir class May 21 to June 18.

Until next time,
Keep the pen moving — Jan

Five Ideas For a Creative Morning

Posted on | April 17, 2012 | No Comments

Okay, you are sitting with your cup of coffee or tea staring out the window, your pen and journal by your side. What should you write about today? Here are five ideas:

1. Close your eyes, turn your head, then open your eyes – what do you see? Write about the first thing that came into view for 20 minutes and don’t stop. Write longer if you find yourself on a roll.

2. How did that first sip of coffee or tea taste? Write for 20 minutes not stopping to correct grammar or because you have lapsed into mindlessness. If you do, write about lapsing into mindlessness. The point: keep writing and let the pen take you to new places.

3. Did you make your bed yet? Why or why not? Again, 20 minutes.

4. Look at the sky. Write about the color blue. Twenty minutes.

5. Are you still in your pajamas? Write about what you are wearing. Twenty minutes.

These might seem like trivial topics and for some of you they will be. It is where these topics lead you that will be the fascinating discovery for the day.

Enjoy.
Until next time,
Jan

Do You Know How to Heal Through Writing?

Posted on | March 24, 2012 | No Comments

Often the most problematic relationship we have is the one with our own self. It amazes me how our spirits can live in our bodies and yet constantly wrestle with authenticity. Having been a philosophy major in undergraduate school I find myself asking existential questions not just because I am fascinated by the mysteries of being a spirit in a human body but because when we are miserable we usually seek solutions outside ourselves when we have magical resources within.

So perhaps this is just how my mind forms weird spirals but when I write I let my mind have its way with the pen, be wild, and create or reveal from the depths of my consciousness answers to everyday problems. When I wrote The Basket Weaver I let my pain run onto the page through characters that took what I gave them and made their own story. Strange as that sounds if you’ve ever written a story you know how characters become animated beings on the page and take over leaving you writing what they tell you to.

The best part of the process is that characters create what we need to know. Alana, Molo, Stacey, Alfonso, and even Randy, characters in The Basket Weaver, led me to heal wounds I thought I would have to take to my grave. Instead, through them, I found forgiveness, the strength to move on, and a bigger purpose. Writing up from the depths is truly healing.

Read it. Let me know what you think. www.createspace.com/3553668

Until next time,
Jan

Why Wait Until New Years?

Posted on | December 14, 2011 | No Comments

Why wait until New Year’s Eve to make resolutions about becoming a better person? When I wanted an exercise to exorcise the issues keeping me from being the person I wanted to be I picked up my pen and began writing. The rest is history because my book The Basket Weaver was the result and consequentially I healed enormously. I healed so much that the issues that plagued me for three decades stopped bothering me; I learned forgiveness and self-acceptance on deeper levels than I thought possible. Here is an excerpt from The Basket Weaver. In this scene Alana is sitting before Molo, a Mayan healer, to be taken to a past lifetime in Tulum to heal issues with her sister.

“Listen carefully: you will not die. Now is the time to use your strong will.”
Hot tears slide down my cheeks. I can’t drop into Tulum, but something has happened because I can’t get back to Molo either.
“Do as I say, don’t get lost in a fake reality. Your emotions are real, but they belong to an illusion. Find the strength from your dream and nourish yourself. Call up that strength and let it take you to Tulum.”
Everything feels dark and ominous. I am lost, lost in space, lost inside myself, lost from all sense of worlds. I feel turned inside out.
Molo’s voice comes through like strong wind. “Accept and acknowledge the present moment. Allow it to be. Embrace it.”
I allow the feeling of nothingness, become one with it, and then suddenly I drop into Tulum’s meadow. Kikuat is near a tree and catches my eye, smiles, and walks away. My sister comes near, giggling with her friends. I describe the scene to Molo.
“See? See how as soon as you stop fighting yourself, reality is more available? Now, stay mindful of each moment no matter how it feels. Then you will find your way back to yourself. Whatever you are feeling, let yourself claim it. Know this: your sister is not your source for love. No human being is your source. If you don’t see this, you’ll never overcome the power you give others over you.”
I turn to face my sister and tell her I am not her enemy. I let her know that I really want to be her friend. She pulls back to get more distance. I know this moment is crucial. I stop, unsure of what to do next.
Molo’s voice instructs me to find a quiet place. I walk to a large banana tree and sit.
“Good. Now is the time to realize that you are not what others say you are. So, tell me, what makes other’s judgments about you true?”
“Well, I must have done something wrong, or they wouldn’t have these judgments.” My heart squeezes tight.
“No, listen to my question. Tell me, what about you makes their judgments true?”
“I don’t know how to answer that,” I respond.
“Alana, even if you did something horrible to your sister, why wouldn’t she bring it to you for resolution instead of holding it against you? That is what healthy people do. Think beyond this. There are two possibilities: one, she has an inability to solve her own distress without rage, and two, there is no problem except her own interpretation which she is not willing to re-assess. Neither option says anything about you; they say something about her.”
Surprisingly, I can smell the vanilla fragrance wafting up from the lit candles in Molo’s living room. I laugh. For the first time I see my sister as a stranger, unattached to me, and it tickles. I have two bodies now, the one on the moist grass in Tulum and the one on a chair in Molo’s living room.
“Good. You have become light, laugh more.”
I laugh again.
“Stay there and laugh for a while.”
I giggle for a few moments, uncontrollably. I see love emanating from me.
“Good,” Molo says again. “Now look over at your sister. Do you see her?”
I nod.
“Ask yourself why you seek her love if she isn’t good to you.”
“She’s my sister. I love her. Why wouldn’t I want her to love me in return?”
“I understand. We each want love from those we love. However, she isn’t giving you love. She isn’t giving you respect or kindness or any of the other qualities that comprise love. What are you going to do about that?”
“I guess I can try harder.”
“You think that will work?”
I stop, pick up a dry banana leaf off the ground, and snap it in half. “No,” I say sadly. “But…I have to do something.”
“Why?”
“To be loved back.”
“That’s not good enough.”
A slight wind blows my hair; the salty wind cools my hot tears. I take a deep breath.
“Yes, your soul wants you to let in some fresh air.”
“I feel light now, but when I think of my relationship with my sister, I feel a sickening struggle.”
“Yes, what if you stayed in the lightness?”
“It’s painful; I’m getting angry.”
“Why?”
I get an urge to run as fast as I can.
“Why?”
“I don’t like the price of the lightness.”
“Stay in the moment.”
“I feel a little stronger,” I announce.
“Good. You have given your body back its strength.”
Just then my sister interrupts, and I stand to face her.
“You aren’t getting your baskets; they are mine. Do not ask me for anything anymore because I will never help you. I don’t like you.” Her veins push out of her neck, and her eyes are venomous.
Within seconds the strength drains out of me. I fall to my knees from the impact of her words; they steal my breath. I try to find the strength to stand. My knees buckle.
“I am coming in to get you,” Molo calls. She appears on the grass in front of my sister. “You are angry with her?” she asks my sister.
“Yes.”
“Why is that?”
“She is always telling me what to do. I hate her.”
“Do you need guidance for what to do?”
My sister glares at Molo out of the corner of her eyes. “No. I can make my own decisions,” she bristles.
Molo turns towards me. “Tell your sister that from now on you will let her make her own decisions. Tell her that it is you who doesn’t want to have a relationship with her anymore. Tell her she can keep the baskets, but each time she uses any one of them, she will be reminded of how much you love her. Love and let go. Love her in your heart if you must, and let go of her. Turn this over to God, your true source of love. You must do this or a part of you will die while it’s waiting for her to love you in return.”
Molo turns me around to face my sister. “Tell her when she learns to be kind to you, you will be there for her. Until she finds a place of kindness for you, you will remain distant.”
I turn to my sister and say what Molo wants me to say. Molo’s hands are pressing my shoulders. We wait for my sister to respond. Arrogantly, my sister turns and walks away. Molo walks me to the banana tree and pushes me to sit.
“It is better for your sister if you stop sending her love. Send it to healthier places. Make space between you two so you can move fully into the present moments of your own life. No one ever knows what someone will do when they are given the space they think they want.”
“So making space between us is good for her?”
“Yes, it is good for her, and for you too.”
“Really?”
“There is no other way.”
She takes my hand, and together we reenter her living room. I feel the chair under my legs and my feet on her velvet carpet. When I open my eyes, she is sitting in front of me holding out a glass of water. I take it and drink fast. All thoughts and emotions evaporate. My body goes limp.
“How do you feel?”
“I feel…I feel…empty.”
“Good,” she nods in approval, “feeling empty is a form of peace. It is a place of great space. Emptiness is a place of great beginnings.”

I wish you all enormous healing in the relationships that bring you distress. The Basket Weaver can be ordered on this site or www.createspace.com/3553668 or Amazon.com.

Until next time,
Jan

Enter Your Mind and Stay Healthy

Posted on | November 18, 2011 | No Comments

There is no doubt that our minds can heal us. Studies have shown that the power within our thoughts and brain functioning is extraordinary. Do you know how to harvest that power? There are many ways. Here are just three:

1. Meditation is one way to access the built in intelligence of our mind. When you meditate do so in a quiet room where you can sit comfortably. Let your thoughts wander-give them room to walk through your mind-observe them and then refocus on your breath. Your mind will never stop thinking because that’s what it is supposed to do. So don’t fight it. But like a recalcitrant child recenter it on the breath. Then sit there and be peaceful.

2. Prayer. The way to use prayer for healing power is not through an act of begging God for help or yelling at him for giving you a painful situation. Healing prayer needs to hold gratefulness and appreciation in it. Pray with gratefulness that the answer has already been sent you. For those of you who have read the Bible you know that there are passages which reveal that everything has already been given. I have never found results materialize through force or anger. Prayer energy doesn’t work when it is hard and callous but instead soft, humble, grateful, and open hearted. If praying feels like war-you aren’t doing it to heal. If you need to get angry go ahead-but that isn’t prayer.

Prayer changes the vibration not just within you but around you. Prayer is a relationship with God that is sweet and kind. Studies have shown that prayer releases powerful calming, healing energies that not only have the ability to heal us but others.

3. Writing. Writing is one of my favorites. Many writers keep journals on a daily basis and certainly recording thoughts or venting can have beneficial outcomes. It certainly might serve to keep friends and family from being bombarded with complaints or feelings you can get in focus through writing. But if you truly want to heal yourself, and I believe this is why many people write and don’t heal, you must take your writing deeper. After you write out the problem answer these questions:

a. what belief holds this pain in place

b. what would life be like if I eliminated this belief

c. what good do I get out of this belief

d. what is my ulterior motive for holding onto this belief

Those are just three ways to go deeper into a belief that might be keeping you unhealthy.

Our thoughts instruct our body. Do you get upset about something that doesn’t even phase your best friend? Do you know why that is? If you investigated the belief your friend had that disallowed him/her to be upset compared to your way of thinking you would understand where I am coming from on this.

Yesterday I had a conversation with a woman who claimed she was ‘shocked’ by a past boyfriend who became uncaring about her. I asked her why she called him. She said she wanted closure. The more she interrogated him the less caring he became. She was a mess by the time she called me. When I attempted to refocus her on her need for closure she revealed she really wanted him to care about her again. Because she had one belief when she called him i.e., that he was going to give her a sense of being loved, the more she refused the act of closure he was actually giving her.  But because she didn’t want to feel the pain of reality, she allowed herself to feel the pain of denial, which in my opinion is more hurtful and takes longer to get over.

This woman wanted to mold her need for closure into a feeling of intimacy she ached for. Can you see what thought kept her driving up a dangerous slope? Do you see how writing answers to the four questions  above could have gotten her to realize that making the call was not in her best interest?

Be mindful of your own psychological process no matter which method you choose to access the power of your mind. You must get to know your mind first. The mind is a terrible thing to waste.

Until next time,

Jan

Why Do You Write?

Posted on | October 31, 2011 | No Comments

It makes you wonder, doesn’t it, why we write? In what other job would any of us stay up all hours of the day and night sitting uncomfortably at a keyboard, slow-bleeding ideas, ignoring emails, TV, the heavy knock on the door writing jewels of entertaining stories and high points of wisdom appallingly doomed to become an addition in a folder of rejection letters and yet still continue to prostrate before blank screens and pages for salvation each day?

Sometimes, without warning, in a split second, eveything can make sense and I think, I’m made from the creative gene of God. What else was I made for except to be creative, right? The Bible says, first there was ‘the word’. God’s word was ‘light. My word is ‘write’.     

Want to Write About Your Life?

Posted on | October 15, 2011 | No Comments

Each life is a story, and an interesting one at that. So how do you start to tell about what you have lived through? How do you organize a rich experience? Here are five tips:

1. Sit quietly. Close your eyes. If you had one experience that represented your life, what it be? Is there one philosophy or leit motif for your life?

2. Start a file for the components of that experience. Every day, for one week, write two pages on this. One typed page is about 600 words.

3. Include your five senses to add depth, quality and a heart-felt tone to your sentences.

4. Don’t edit. Just write. Write incomplete sentences if you have to. Just get the impressions and impact of the experience on paper.

5. When you have your rough draft finished rewrite them to include any contibuting events or impressions. Then string them together or keep them as separate chapters, your choice. Finalizing your memoir will take a good year to edit so that it truly represents how you feel and think about your life. Keep at it until you are satisfied. Then seek an outside editor.

Remember, no one knows your experience the way you do. Let your voice flow. A memoir is usually one theme or lesson and is more focused. An autobiography can be more complex to write because it usually refers to an entire life.

Have fun, you get to interpret and share your life experience the way you want. The Breath of Dawn, a Journey of Everyday Blessings is my memoir of a stroke caused by an herbal formula. Check it out. www.createspace.com/3546000 The Basket Weaver is a creative memoir that adventures into fiction. www.createspace.com/3553668

Until next time,

keep the pen moving,

Jan

Do You Have A Book In You?

Posted on | October 1, 2011 | No Comments

So many times I hear people say, “I’d love to write a book.” When I ask, “Why don’t you write one?” I hear about fears and expectations that words written on a blank page has to be perfect. Why is that? Next, I hear stories about english teachers or unsupportive loved ones who stifled eager writing voices.  Let’s think about this. Not getting support is one step; being demeaned because you want to write is the second debilitating step. They each take a toll on the enthusiasm of a voice and together can paralyze a desire. But there is no need to stop there. Those are outside experience. If the inner experience wants to write; write. Just in case you want to take on this challenge, here is a general process in the formation of a book.

I’m going to list the steps as I know them.

1. Sit it a quiet place, settle into the idea for your book. Pick up a pen or turn on a computer and write. Just write! Write until every idea is out and there is nothing more to say. Make mistakes, spell incorrectly, forget to capitalize and punctuate. This is just an exercise in writing out every thought that comes to mind about the topic. For example, if a topic is about an unusual character at a party, then write everything seen, felt, smelled and thought about for that character. Keep in mind, there is no english teacher watching. There is not test. This book can be a complete secret.

2. Read it out loud.

3. Still enthused about this idea? Then edit it. Add something or delete something and continue writing. This process will take as little or as long as needed. Take all the time needed. Authors often take years for this process. The Breath of Dawn took thirteen years. Echoes from the Womb took five years. Kate’s Way took three years as did The Basket Weaver and Voices from the Land. I wrote the last three mentioned books in the same three year-period, so maybe they took one year each. I always have more than one book in progress at the same time.

4. Read the manuscript out loud again and if it appears ready for public viewing, give it to at least three close friends. Make them agree that they will return their copy of the manuscript marked for comments and will not share or copy it. I made a mistake of giving Voices from the Land to people I didn’t know well. One person copied it and wouldn’t return it, one simply wouldn’t return it and another ignored my requests to return it. I hadn’t lived in that particular town long enough to make trusting friends.

5. Now that the manuscript is filled with comments, suggestions and advice, incorporate them into it.

6. Now decided if you want to keep the manuscript in the closet, self-publish it or seek traditional publishing. There are many independent presses out there who want to make money off the manuscript. Whichever way is decided; keep the rights to the book. Writer’s Relief will help you find an agent. Create Space, which is Amazon’s publishing house, will edit and design a cover for you. I used them for Kate’s Way, www.createspace.com/3498926, Voices from the Land, www.createspace.com/3552509, and The Basket Weaver, www.createspace.com/3553668. They are absolutely wonderful to deal with and I am pleased with the work they did on my precious babies.

7. Once your book is completed, the next task is to market it. One way to do that is to hire a publicist. I liked the one I hired for Voices from the Land, although I did not come close to making back my cost. I am not saying not to hire one; I am merely saying that is not always the best way to go. For many authors, it is.  Create Space will help with marketing and since Amazon owns Create Space they assign authors a book page and separate author page. See mine. http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=Jan+Marquart&x=0&y=0

7. I have found book readings to be great for selling books. Ask local bookstores to help with a reading. Coffee houses love authors to read. They bring them business. Find other community events. I made my best sales at book readings.

Hope this is helpful. Authors spend a great deal of time in their heads and at the keys. I love it. Many people can’t be alone with their minds for two minutes; it is a personal thing. Just look around. How many people shop, drive, walk down the street, sit in waiting rooms and eat in restaurants while talking on the cell phone.

If you have any questions or comments, please put them here and I will respond.

Until then,

keep the pen free,

Jan

Write to Heal

Posted on | September 17, 2011 | 2 Comments

Your body hurts. You take pills but the problem doesn’t go away. You are distressed. Therapy doesn’t help and you don’t think the therapist  understands. We have all been there at one time or another in our lives. What to do?

Here’s a quote by Dr. James Pennebaker about my book Write to Heal.

Over the last 25 years, more than 200 studies have been conducted on the power of writing. The general conclusion is that writing about emotional upheavals can often improve people’s mental and physical health. In Jan Marquart’s book, Write to Heal, the reader gets a deeply personal sense of the power of writing. More importantly, the author lays out practical ways to deal with issues that bother you. This is a fine book by any account.

Okay, that being said, you write and you write and nothing releases inside you to start the healing process. What has gone wrong?

Writing to get well is a process of going deep into the subconscious and freeing those emotions, beliefs and physical sensations that you have been harboring. Experiences are full body. At the time suppressing what you went through might have been the best route, but in order to heal, you must let go. Write on a level  that opens to the honest experience of what it felt like, what it meant for you and how something effected your life. You want the truth to be released through writing so you can heal from the dis-eased energy. If you do not feel any results, then you haven’t yet reached that place where the pain lives. Here is something else you can do. Sit quietly and ask your subconscious to let go of what you’ve repressed so that you can heal. Each time you write ask for permission from your subconscious. The subconscious has a way of censoring what it will let go of. It is our psychological defense. This can be a slow process-but one well worth it and cheaper than therapy or pills.

Let me give you an example. When I was on my own with acute environmental sensitivites I resorted to my pen after five doctors told me they could not help me and I was at the mercy of only one acupuncturist. I was desperately trying to understand and see the bigger picture of this condition in my life. I decided to re-define the condition with alternate words and phrases. I wrote a list of words that resembled the condition. I had reached thirty-five words and then wrote the word ‘toxic’ on the list when something clicked inside. I chose to focus on that word. I made further lists of people and situations in my life that felt toxic. Bingo! Then I wrote the experience of that person or event in my life. I wrote until I could write no more. I wrote until I was spent and no further impressions of that person or event came up. When I was finished with that process, I wrote out an affirmation that succinctly encompased the experience I wanted to antidote and pasted it on my bathroom mirror to repeat over and over during the day. I stated the affirmation while sweeping my floor or driving down the road. Then I made sure to change everything toxic in my life to non-toxic. Each day I went a little deeper and a little deeper. Illness is a full bodied experience and it effects every area of our lives.

I’m sure you’re thinking that the process I’ve listed is simply too much work, after all, you are a busy person with lots of demands. And, yes, it brought a lot more demands into my busy life too. But let me ask you this: How much time do you spend suffering and complaining about feeling ill? How much time do you spend in doctor offices? How much time do you spend praying to feel better? Like anything else in life, if you want it badly enough, you set time for it even if it is only 20 minutes a day. Everyone eats a meal. Write while you’re eating your lunch instead of texting mindless dribbles about insignificant things. You Can Do This!!!!!!!
I’m telling you the truth: this process works. Clinics around the country are using writing with Veterans and those with unrelenting backaches. Writing is being used for insomnia, Rheumtoid Arthritis, cancer and other conditions. This research and more has been documented in my book Write to Heal including some writing prompts to help you get started.

I can say, without a doubt, that writing was and is a huge part of saving the health of my life. And it could be a huge part in saving yours too, because every physical illness is a full body experience, mind/body/spirit.

Write to Heal can be ordered on this site for $8.99.

visit my blogs: www.awarelivingnow.blogspot.com and www.freethepen.wordpress.com

Until next time,

Jan

Baby on Board

Posted on | September 10, 2011 | No Comments

Just a quick post this week. I keep hearing about parents who forget that they have a baby in the back seat of their cars. Unfortunately, these scenarios end badly. I can’t imagine the devastation that these families suffer.

I decided to do something about this so I have written Baby on Board stickers for parents to place on the inside of their car windshields. They are 3 inches by 2 inches, all black lettering on a clear background. I am selling them for $4.99. Anyone interested in purchasing these stickers should contact me through this site. I haven’t had time to get my computer genius to post the B.O.B. stickers through PayPal yet.

Write to me if you are interested in this sticker for your windshield and I will let you know as soon as Terry, my computer genius, has a moment to set it up.

Until next time,
Jan

www/freethepen.wordpress.com

www.awarelivingnow.blogspot.com