Why Wait Until New Years?

Posted on | December 14, 2011 | No Comments

Why wait until New Year’s Eve to make resolutions about becoming a better person? When I wanted an exercise to exorcise the issues keeping me from being the person I wanted to be I picked up my pen and began writing. The rest is history because my book The Basket Weaver was the result and consequentially I healed enormously. I healed so much that the issues that plagued me for three decades stopped bothering me; I learned forgiveness and self-acceptance on deeper levels than I thought possible. Here is an excerpt from The Basket Weaver. In this scene Alana is sitting before Molo, a Mayan healer, to be taken to a past lifetime in Tulum to heal issues with her sister.

“Listen carefully: you will not die. Now is the time to use your strong will.”
Hot tears slide down my cheeks. I can’t drop into Tulum, but something has happened because I can’t get back to Molo either.
“Do as I say, don’t get lost in a fake reality. Your emotions are real, but they belong to an illusion. Find the strength from your dream and nourish yourself. Call up that strength and let it take you to Tulum.”
Everything feels dark and ominous. I am lost, lost in space, lost inside myself, lost from all sense of worlds. I feel turned inside out.
Molo’s voice comes through like strong wind. “Accept and acknowledge the present moment. Allow it to be. Embrace it.”
I allow the feeling of nothingness, become one with it, and then suddenly I drop into Tulum’s meadow. Kikuat is near a tree and catches my eye, smiles, and walks away. My sister comes near, giggling with her friends. I describe the scene to Molo.
“See? See how as soon as you stop fighting yourself, reality is more available? Now, stay mindful of each moment no matter how it feels. Then you will find your way back to yourself. Whatever you are feeling, let yourself claim it. Know this: your sister is not your source for love. No human being is your source. If you don’t see this, you’ll never overcome the power you give others over you.”
I turn to face my sister and tell her I am not her enemy. I let her know that I really want to be her friend. She pulls back to get more distance. I know this moment is crucial. I stop, unsure of what to do next.
Molo’s voice instructs me to find a quiet place. I walk to a large banana tree and sit.
“Good. Now is the time to realize that you are not what others say you are. So, tell me, what makes other’s judgments about you true?”
“Well, I must have done something wrong, or they wouldn’t have these judgments.” My heart squeezes tight.
“No, listen to my question. Tell me, what about you makes their judgments true?”
“I don’t know how to answer that,” I respond.
“Alana, even if you did something horrible to your sister, why wouldn’t she bring it to you for resolution instead of holding it against you? That is what healthy people do. Think beyond this. There are two possibilities: one, she has an inability to solve her own distress without rage, and two, there is no problem except her own interpretation which she is not willing to re-assess. Neither option says anything about you; they say something about her.”
Surprisingly, I can smell the vanilla fragrance wafting up from the lit candles in Molo’s living room. I laugh. For the first time I see my sister as a stranger, unattached to me, and it tickles. I have two bodies now, the one on the moist grass in Tulum and the one on a chair in Molo’s living room.
“Good. You have become light, laugh more.”
I laugh again.
“Stay there and laugh for a while.”
I giggle for a few moments, uncontrollably. I see love emanating from me.
“Good,” Molo says again. “Now look over at your sister. Do you see her?”
I nod.
“Ask yourself why you seek her love if she isn’t good to you.”
“She’s my sister. I love her. Why wouldn’t I want her to love me in return?”
“I understand. We each want love from those we love. However, she isn’t giving you love. She isn’t giving you respect or kindness or any of the other qualities that comprise love. What are you going to do about that?”
“I guess I can try harder.”
“You think that will work?”
I stop, pick up a dry banana leaf off the ground, and snap it in half. “No,” I say sadly. “But…I have to do something.”
“Why?”
“To be loved back.”
“That’s not good enough.”
A slight wind blows my hair; the salty wind cools my hot tears. I take a deep breath.
“Yes, your soul wants you to let in some fresh air.”
“I feel light now, but when I think of my relationship with my sister, I feel a sickening struggle.”
“Yes, what if you stayed in the lightness?”
“It’s painful; I’m getting angry.”
“Why?”
I get an urge to run as fast as I can.
“Why?”
“I don’t like the price of the lightness.”
“Stay in the moment.”
“I feel a little stronger,” I announce.
“Good. You have given your body back its strength.”
Just then my sister interrupts, and I stand to face her.
“You aren’t getting your baskets; they are mine. Do not ask me for anything anymore because I will never help you. I don’t like you.” Her veins push out of her neck, and her eyes are venomous.
Within seconds the strength drains out of me. I fall to my knees from the impact of her words; they steal my breath. I try to find the strength to stand. My knees buckle.
“I am coming in to get you,” Molo calls. She appears on the grass in front of my sister. “You are angry with her?” she asks my sister.
“Yes.”
“Why is that?”
“She is always telling me what to do. I hate her.”
“Do you need guidance for what to do?”
My sister glares at Molo out of the corner of her eyes. “No. I can make my own decisions,” she bristles.
Molo turns towards me. “Tell your sister that from now on you will let her make her own decisions. Tell her that it is you who doesn’t want to have a relationship with her anymore. Tell her she can keep the baskets, but each time she uses any one of them, she will be reminded of how much you love her. Love and let go. Love her in your heart if you must, and let go of her. Turn this over to God, your true source of love. You must do this or a part of you will die while it’s waiting for her to love you in return.”
Molo turns me around to face my sister. “Tell her when she learns to be kind to you, you will be there for her. Until she finds a place of kindness for you, you will remain distant.”
I turn to my sister and say what Molo wants me to say. Molo’s hands are pressing my shoulders. We wait for my sister to respond. Arrogantly, my sister turns and walks away. Molo walks me to the banana tree and pushes me to sit.
“It is better for your sister if you stop sending her love. Send it to healthier places. Make space between you two so you can move fully into the present moments of your own life. No one ever knows what someone will do when they are given the space they think they want.”
“So making space between us is good for her?”
“Yes, it is good for her, and for you too.”
“Really?”
“There is no other way.”
She takes my hand, and together we reenter her living room. I feel the chair under my legs and my feet on her velvet carpet. When I open my eyes, she is sitting in front of me holding out a glass of water. I take it and drink fast. All thoughts and emotions evaporate. My body goes limp.
“How do you feel?”
“I feel…I feel…empty.”
“Good,” she nods in approval, “feeling empty is a form of peace. It is a place of great space. Emptiness is a place of great beginnings.”

I wish you all enormous healing in the relationships that bring you distress. The Basket Weaver can be ordered on this site or www.createspace.com/3553668 or Amazon.com.

Until next time,
Jan

Enter Your Mind and Stay Healthy

Posted on | November 18, 2011 | No Comments

There is no doubt that our minds can heal us. Studies have shown that the power within our thoughts and brain functioning is extraordinary. Do you know how to harvest that power? There are many ways. Here are just three:

1. Meditation is one way to access the built in intelligence of our mind. When you meditate do so in a quiet room where you can sit comfortably. Let your thoughts wander-give them room to walk through your mind-observe them and then refocus on your breath. Your mind will never stop thinking because that’s what it is supposed to do. So don’t fight it. But like a recalcitrant child recenter it on the breath. Then sit there and be peaceful.

2. Prayer. The way to use prayer for healing power is not through an act of begging God for help or yelling at him for giving you a painful situation. Healing prayer needs to hold gratefulness and appreciation in it. Pray with gratefulness that the answer has already been sent you. For those of you who have read the Bible you know that there are passages which reveal that everything has already been given. I have never found results materialize through force or anger. Prayer energy doesn’t work when it is hard and callous but instead soft, humble, grateful, and open hearted. If praying feels like war-you aren’t doing it to heal. If you need to get angry go ahead-but that isn’t prayer.

Prayer changes the vibration not just within you but around you. Prayer is a relationship with God that is sweet and kind. Studies have shown that prayer releases powerful calming, healing energies that not only have the ability to heal us but others.

3. Writing. Writing is one of my favorites. Many writers keep journals on a daily basis and certainly recording thoughts or venting can have beneficial outcomes. It certainly might serve to keep friends and family from being bombarded with complaints or feelings you can get in focus through writing. But if you truly want to heal yourself, and I believe this is why many people write and don’t heal, you must take your writing deeper. After you write out the problem answer these questions:

a. what belief holds this pain in place

b. what would life be like if I eliminated this belief

c. what good do I get out of this belief

d. what is my ulterior motive for holding onto this belief

Those are just three ways to go deeper into a belief that might be keeping you unhealthy.

Our thoughts instruct our body. Do you get upset about something that doesn’t even phase your best friend? Do you know why that is? If you investigated the belief your friend had that disallowed him/her to be upset compared to your way of thinking you would understand where I am coming from on this.

Yesterday I had a conversation with a woman who claimed she was ‘shocked’ by a past boyfriend who became uncaring about her. I asked her why she called him. She said she wanted closure. The more she interrogated him the less caring he became. She was a mess by the time she called me. When I attempted to refocus her on her need for closure she revealed she really wanted him to care about her again. Because she had one belief when she called him i.e., that he was going to give her a sense of being loved, the more she refused the act of closure he was actually giving her.  But because she didn’t want to feel the pain of reality, she allowed herself to feel the pain of denial, which in my opinion is more hurtful and takes longer to get over.

This woman wanted to mold her need for closure into a feeling of intimacy she ached for. Can you see what thought kept her driving up a dangerous slope? Do you see how writing answers to the four questions  above could have gotten her to realize that making the call was not in her best interest?

Be mindful of your own psychological process no matter which method you choose to access the power of your mind. You must get to know your mind first. The mind is a terrible thing to waste.

Until next time,

Jan

Why Do You Write?

Posted on | October 31, 2011 | No Comments

It makes you wonder, doesn’t it, why we write? In what other job would any of us stay up all hours of the day and night sitting uncomfortably at a keyboard, slow-bleeding ideas, ignoring emails, TV, the heavy knock on the door writing jewels of entertaining stories and high points of wisdom appallingly doomed to become an addition in a folder of rejection letters and yet still continue to prostrate before blank screens and pages for salvation each day?

Sometimes, without warning, in a split second, eveything can make sense and I think, I’m made from the creative gene of God. What else was I made for except to be creative, right? The Bible says, first there was ‘the word’. God’s word was ‘light. My word is ‘write’.     

Want to Write About Your Life?

Posted on | October 15, 2011 | No Comments

Each life is a story, and an interesting one at that. So how do you start to tell about what you have lived through? How do you organize a rich experience? Here are five tips:

1. Sit quietly. Close your eyes. If you had one experience that represented your life, what it be? Is there one philosophy or leit motif for your life?

2. Start a file for the components of that experience. Every day, for one week, write two pages on this. One typed page is about 600 words.

3. Include your five senses to add depth, quality and a heart-felt tone to your sentences.

4. Don’t edit. Just write. Write incomplete sentences if you have to. Just get the impressions and impact of the experience on paper.

5. When you have your rough draft finished rewrite them to include any contibuting events or impressions. Then string them together or keep them as separate chapters, your choice. Finalizing your memoir will take a good year to edit so that it truly represents how you feel and think about your life. Keep at it until you are satisfied. Then seek an outside editor.

Remember, no one knows your experience the way you do. Let your voice flow. A memoir is usually one theme or lesson and is more focused. An autobiography can be more complex to write because it usually refers to an entire life.

Have fun, you get to interpret and share your life experience the way you want. The Breath of Dawn, a Journey of Everyday Blessings is my memoir of a stroke caused by an herbal formula. Check it out. www.createspace.com/3546000 The Basket Weaver is a creative memoir that adventures into fiction. www.createspace.com/3553668

Until next time,

keep the pen moving,

Jan

Do You Have A Book In You?

Posted on | October 1, 2011 | No Comments

So many times I hear people say, “I’d love to write a book.” When I ask, “Why don’t you write one?” I hear about fears and expectations that words written on a blank page has to be perfect. Why is that? Next, I hear stories about english teachers or unsupportive loved ones who stifled eager writing voices.  Let’s think about this. Not getting support is one step; being demeaned because you want to write is the second debilitating step. They each take a toll on the enthusiasm of a voice and together can paralyze a desire. But there is no need to stop there. Those are outside experience. If the inner experience wants to write; write. Just in case you want to take on this challenge, here is a general process in the formation of a book.

I’m going to list the steps as I know them.

1. Sit it a quiet place, settle into the idea for your book. Pick up a pen or turn on a computer and write. Just write! Write until every idea is out and there is nothing more to say. Make mistakes, spell incorrectly, forget to capitalize and punctuate. This is just an exercise in writing out every thought that comes to mind about the topic. For example, if a topic is about an unusual character at a party, then write everything seen, felt, smelled and thought about for that character. Keep in mind, there is no english teacher watching. There is not test. This book can be a complete secret.

2. Read it out loud.

3. Still enthused about this idea? Then edit it. Add something or delete something and continue writing. This process will take as little or as long as needed. Take all the time needed. Authors often take years for this process. The Breath of Dawn took thirteen years. Echoes from the Womb took five years. Kate’s Way took three years as did The Basket Weaver and Voices from the Land. I wrote the last three mentioned books in the same three year-period, so maybe they took one year each. I always have more than one book in progress at the same time.

4. Read the manuscript out loud again and if it appears ready for public viewing, give it to at least three close friends. Make them agree that they will return their copy of the manuscript marked for comments and will not share or copy it. I made a mistake of giving Voices from the Land to people I didn’t know well. One person copied it and wouldn’t return it, one simply wouldn’t return it and another ignored my requests to return it. I hadn’t lived in that particular town long enough to make trusting friends.

5. Now that the manuscript is filled with comments, suggestions and advice, incorporate them into it.

6. Now decided if you want to keep the manuscript in the closet, self-publish it or seek traditional publishing. There are many independent presses out there who want to make money off the manuscript. Whichever way is decided; keep the rights to the book. Writer’s Relief will help you find an agent. Create Space, which is Amazon’s publishing house, will edit and design a cover for you. I used them for Kate’s Way, www.createspace.com/3498926, Voices from the Land, www.createspace.com/3552509, and The Basket Weaver, www.createspace.com/3553668. They are absolutely wonderful to deal with and I am pleased with the work they did on my precious babies.

7. Once your book is completed, the next task is to market it. One way to do that is to hire a publicist. I liked the one I hired for Voices from the Land, although I did not come close to making back my cost. I am not saying not to hire one; I am merely saying that is not always the best way to go. For many authors, it is.  Create Space will help with marketing and since Amazon owns Create Space they assign authors a book page and separate author page. See mine. http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=Jan+Marquart&x=0&y=0

7. I have found book readings to be great for selling books. Ask local bookstores to help with a reading. Coffee houses love authors to read. They bring them business. Find other community events. I made my best sales at book readings.

Hope this is helpful. Authors spend a great deal of time in their heads and at the keys. I love it. Many people can’t be alone with their minds for two minutes; it is a personal thing. Just look around. How many people shop, drive, walk down the street, sit in waiting rooms and eat in restaurants while talking on the cell phone.

If you have any questions or comments, please put them here and I will respond.

Until then,

keep the pen free,

Jan

Write to Heal

Posted on | September 17, 2011 | 2 Comments

Your body hurts. You take pills but the problem doesn’t go away. You are distressed. Therapy doesn’t help and you don’t think the therapist  understands. We have all been there at one time or another in our lives. What to do?

Here’s a quote by Dr. James Pennebaker about my book Write to Heal.

Over the last 25 years, more than 200 studies have been conducted on the power of writing. The general conclusion is that writing about emotional upheavals can often improve people’s mental and physical health. In Jan Marquart’s book, Write to Heal, the reader gets a deeply personal sense of the power of writing. More importantly, the author lays out practical ways to deal with issues that bother you. This is a fine book by any account.

Okay, that being said, you write and you write and nothing releases inside you to start the healing process. What has gone wrong?

Writing to get well is a process of going deep into the subconscious and freeing those emotions, beliefs and physical sensations that you have been harboring. Experiences are full body. At the time suppressing what you went through might have been the best route, but in order to heal, you must let go. Write on a level  that opens to the honest experience of what it felt like, what it meant for you and how something effected your life. You want the truth to be released through writing so you can heal from the dis-eased energy. If you do not feel any results, then you haven’t yet reached that place where the pain lives. Here is something else you can do. Sit quietly and ask your subconscious to let go of what you’ve repressed so that you can heal. Each time you write ask for permission from your subconscious. The subconscious has a way of censoring what it will let go of. It is our psychological defense. This can be a slow process-but one well worth it and cheaper than therapy or pills.

Let me give you an example. When I was on my own with acute environmental sensitivites I resorted to my pen after five doctors told me they could not help me and I was at the mercy of only one acupuncturist. I was desperately trying to understand and see the bigger picture of this condition in my life. I decided to re-define the condition with alternate words and phrases. I wrote a list of words that resembled the condition. I had reached thirty-five words and then wrote the word ‘toxic’ on the list when something clicked inside. I chose to focus on that word. I made further lists of people and situations in my life that felt toxic. Bingo! Then I wrote the experience of that person or event in my life. I wrote until I could write no more. I wrote until I was spent and no further impressions of that person or event came up. When I was finished with that process, I wrote out an affirmation that succinctly encompased the experience I wanted to antidote and pasted it on my bathroom mirror to repeat over and over during the day. I stated the affirmation while sweeping my floor or driving down the road. Then I made sure to change everything toxic in my life to non-toxic. Each day I went a little deeper and a little deeper. Illness is a full bodied experience and it effects every area of our lives.

I’m sure you’re thinking that the process I’ve listed is simply too much work, after all, you are a busy person with lots of demands. And, yes, it brought a lot more demands into my busy life too. But let me ask you this: How much time do you spend suffering and complaining about feeling ill? How much time do you spend in doctor offices? How much time do you spend praying to feel better? Like anything else in life, if you want it badly enough, you set time for it even if it is only 20 minutes a day. Everyone eats a meal. Write while you’re eating your lunch instead of texting mindless dribbles about insignificant things. You Can Do This!!!!!!!
I’m telling you the truth: this process works. Clinics around the country are using writing with Veterans and those with unrelenting backaches. Writing is being used for insomnia, Rheumtoid Arthritis, cancer and other conditions. This research and more has been documented in my book Write to Heal including some writing prompts to help you get started.

I can say, without a doubt, that writing was and is a huge part of saving the health of my life. And it could be a huge part in saving yours too, because every physical illness is a full body experience, mind/body/spirit.

Write to Heal can be ordered on this site for $8.99.

visit my blogs: www.awarelivingnow.blogspot.com and www.freethepen.wordpress.com

Until next time,

Jan

Baby on Board

Posted on | September 10, 2011 | No Comments

Just a quick post this week. I keep hearing about parents who forget that they have a baby in the back seat of their cars. Unfortunately, these scenarios end badly. I can’t imagine the devastation that these families suffer.

I decided to do something about this so I have written Baby on Board stickers for parents to place on the inside of their car windshields. They are 3 inches by 2 inches, all black lettering on a clear background. I am selling them for $4.99. Anyone interested in purchasing these stickers should contact me through this site. I haven’t had time to get my computer genius to post the B.O.B. stickers through PayPal yet.

Write to me if you are interested in this sticker for your windshield and I will let you know as soon as Terry, my computer genius, has a moment to set it up.

Until next time,
Jan

www/freethepen.wordpress.com

www.awarelivingnow.blogspot.com

Two Tips to Reduce Toxins for Aware Living

Posted on | August 29, 2011 | 2 Comments

In today’s world there is no way to live completely without toxins. That bad news being said, there are things you can do to enable a lifestyle that is cleaner, become aware living advocates and promote a better health for your body and mind.

Usually when I speak to people about aware living and the toxins in the environment, food, water, clothes, furniture, they shake their heads because chemicals are so prolific. They say they have no control so why bother. That thinking is far too defeatist for my liking. If you don’t have control as the consumer who does? The consumer has far more control than anyone else. If everyone stopped buying toxic products, companies would not stay in business for long. But companies depend upon your busy lives and lack of time to investigate these things.

On an average day a person comes in contact with 80,000 chemicals. Do you live aware of that? Don’t you wonder where those chemicals are? They are in everything: food, clothing, air, water, furniture, bottles, OSB, plywood, particle board, cars, vinly, plastics, tin cans, the list is inexhaustive. So I understand if you would rather not think about it. But do you truly want to use that option when it comes to your health?

I’ve stood in front of multi-degreed and intelligent adults and listened to their complaints that it takes too much time to learn about and too much money to transform their lives. They pop pills for illnesses and emotional disturbances that could be reduced or eliminated by arming themselves with knowledge and taking one minute longer at the grocery store to make a different decision.

I understand their reaction, but changing a toxic lifestyle does not have be done within the week. Now, for me, I had to give up everything I owned and my new modular home in which I lived in order to figure out what made me sick. My immune and adrenal systems were so impacted that I could barely think and function. Then I found out from a doctor friend of mine: doctors do not study the immune and adrenal systems. So what will you do if what happened to me, happens to you? I had no other choice but to sleep on a hardwood floor with no furniture, clothing or other household items or products until I was able to stabilize my body and start all over to find out what I could or could not be around. I had been extremely healthy so if it can hapen to me, it can happen to you. If an overload of chemicals can do that to me, what makes you think it can’t happen to you? Our health is not something to risk. I spent hundreds of thousands of my retirement money, no insurance pays for this by the way, in order to get healthy. I spent tens of thousands of dollars on alternative practitioners. They, at least, had an idea of how to work with the adrenal and immune systems. But once those bodily systems break down you are the one to have to discipline yourself strigently enough to get well, and some people don’t come back to normal ever again. Please, do not think you are immune to this. Currently nearly 70% of the population has some reaction to some chemicals. Maybe you react to perfumes in elevators or cigarette smoke being blown in your direction. Perhaps you don’t like the smell of dry cleaning chemicals or new carpets. I’ll save the many stories I’ve heard for the book I plan on writing about this.

In the meantime, here are some simple ways to start your aware living compaign and become proactive in cleaning up your body and personal environment:
1. Every time you go grocery shopping buy one product (shampoo, conditioner, dish soap, laundry soap, bar soap) that is without toxic chemicals. That means, that there are no parabens, pthalates, or fragrances. At least start eliminating those chemicals from your products. If you have a minute, instead of texting trivia on facebook, look up organic products and type in the name of ingredients you don’t know and can’t pronounce. Educate yourself. People always want to know what I use. I have used many brands. Currently, I am using Nature’s Gate for shampoo and conditioner. I use white vinegar for cleaning counters, floors, mirrors, windows and dusting. I use baking soda for sinks and tubs. I use borax in my laundry and sometimes add some Seventh Generation laundry soap. At the peak of being sick I used nothing but hot water, no soaps because I had no idea what was making me sick. For shampoo I used a whipped egg yolk and for the conditioner whipped egg white. It didn’t lather but I have to say, even though I was sick, my hair looked soft and shiny.

2. Every time you go grocery shopping buy two vegetables or fruits that are organic. The conventionally grown frutis and vegies can be soaked in white vinegar and rinsed to get off the 80 or more pesticides contaminating your food.

That’s it. Now is that so difficult? And you only have to do it at one store. So start there. Ask me questions. I am quite proficient in getting rid of smells, finding non-toxic products and have improved my health dramatically as a result.

I am starting to write my book on aware living so if any one knows of a grant I could obtain to help with costs, please let me know.

Until next time,
breathe well,
Jan

Novels Change Lives

Posted on | August 27, 2011 | No Comments

I do believe that everything we read changes us in either thought, word or action. The written word is quite powerful and I am terribly distressed over hearing that the public education system wants to do away with teaching cursive writing because kids would rather text. Just who is in charge of our education system anyway? If we lose this powerful way of communicating our internal language, how in the world are we going to relate in relationships, and what will become of us? Today anachronisms such as BTW, OMG and LOL, are common expressions both in writing and speaking. This scares me. It is the same way the medical profession relates to diseases thanks to pharmaceutical companies, you know, the ones on TV every four seconds. Do you have COPD, RA, RLS? This way of thinking stops us from independently thinking on our own. When we get letters for our problems it is much easier to pop a pill than to truly think about what the letters mean and take action to empower ourselves to become healthier. And there are healthy alternatives to popping pills. Now, for those of you taking pills and getting angry with me, yes, medication can help. I never recommend someone stop medication without research, consulting with an alternative medical professional or their allopathic doctor. But we have given up a part of our own thinking in this techno-rushed world of condensing our language and behavior because we falsely believe that we don’t have enough time. What rubbish. We have the same amount of time human beings have always had: 24 hours a day.

That being said: There are too many people in our world who don’t read or know the power of our language and maybe these are the people responsible for wanting to do away with writing the language that we have used to interpret our experiences and world for centuries. Everything fits together. Shortening our language to abbreviations, giving up writing, and making the choice in schools to teach through computers instead of the intelligence, compassion and empathy of a human being, only serves to make us walking shells. One of the outcomes of this is the amount of meaningless sex and violence our young adults display. The repercussions are endless. Grammar schools are noticing young children losing their ability to get along and socialize on the playground since learning through the prolific us of computers began. I read an article that chemical companies have come up with a beverage to enhance empathy. What are we creating? One mindless step leads to another. So much for human evolution! On the more positive side, I read some research studies recently that mentioned reading novels and the stories in them help us make better decisions when problems arise.

We live life symbollically on so many levels. Anyone reading Jung out there? Novels change lives because their stories symbolize the lives we each live. Reading and writing strengthen us. From what I have seen, we are creating a society in which people can’t spend any time alone with their thoughts, or sit quietly without answering a cell phone or responding to a text. Conversations get interrupted constantly by devices. People are losing their ability to speak in full sentences with meaning and wisdom.

I’m hoping to do my small piece of changing this deleterious pattern by diligently writing about different aspects of human relationships including the relationship we have with our own souls. We have lost sight of something so crucial while building a world of techno-hurry-hurry.

I have been a family and couple counselor for 33 years. In my books I strive to incorporate what I have learned from the suffering process and what helps a person triumph over difficult times. Despite the techno-hurry-hurry world, human beings will always have challenges to overcome. If we think computers will make that part of being human easier, we are going to be sadly awakened someday. Computers are definitely great for research but not the hands-on action of living one breath at a time.

In my book, Kate’s Way, www.createspace.com/3498926, I have written about integrity, the need to pull together for the good of all, respect, innovation in creating a new path, and the destruction of relationships when values go awry. In The Basket Weaver, www.createspace.com/3553668, I have written about the distress caused by hate and dishonesty. I speak to the power of forgiveness, God, attention to healing and that we are all one. I am not listing two of my many books here just to promote them, although I appreciate my customers. I write in order to promote values of wellness because try as we might people have always had problems in relationships and always will. No abbreviations will help that. Living in relationships is how we learn to become evolved human beings. Other people through stories are mirrors for us. We are mirrors for everyone we meet. Reading changes lives, writing changes lives, thinking changes lives. What is your philosophy about the best way to live your life? I don’t write in anachronisms, but for those of you who won’t get my message any other way, BTW, OMG.
LOL – lots of love. I couldn’t help myself; I had to use full words just in case you didn’t understand my abbreviation. Communication is difficult for the best of us; why make it any harder?

Go read a book, write a journal entry, think fresh and original thoughts, and,
until next time, keep the pen moving and the book open,
Jan

Are You Critical of This Group?

Posted on | August 21, 2011 | 3 Comments

Imagine that you are walking down the street, alone, minding your own business. You drop something out of a grocery bag and a homeless person picks it up. At just the thought of that, what is your mind doing right now? Are you fearful, repulsed, angry? Is your heart opening with compassion? I’m sure there are factors that would make a difference such as your gender, the kind of neighborhood you are in, whether you are carrying money or not. Is it a quiet morning, a busy afternoon or a dark and rainy night? Whatever the details, I bet your mind and emotions would play out differently if the person who picked up your grocery item was your friend instead of a homeless stranger.

For those of you who think the homeless are nothing more than mentally ill people, you are partly right. It is true that many of the homeless are mentally ill. And it is also true that the homeless are less likely to be consistent with medication and therapy, for all the obvious reasons. Too many homeless men and women do not have family and do not have access to the needed services to monitor their daily needs once they leave a locked ward or hospital. I worked with many of these individuals in a group setting designed to mainstream them back into society. What a joke! Most of my efforts were fruitless because, after they returned to the street, unattended mental health issues deteriorated any success they attained in the group. At that point the only help they got was waiting for the police to re-admit them to a hospital setting. How these individuals are treated in a rich society leaves me trembling with anger. How could we have created a society that allows such inhuman treatment to continue?

Many other homeless, however, are people who have simply hit hard and/or traumatic times. These are the people who have amazing stories of strength and survival to tell and who still have much to offer if only they were able to find a door to open for them. These are the men and women who have been forgotten. Not all of them are from the military but the fact that any of them have no where to sleep makes me wonder why we aren’t protesting on the steps of congress instead of busying ourselves with non-sensical facebook entries, computer games and cell phones. Why not spend our time doing something worthwhile?

All in all, the homeless get a bad rap instead of a helping hand. Being homeless is not the same as being less than human. That being said, when I wanted to write a light romantic novel I found myself writing about one or two social issues about relationships, including our relationship to the homeless. What are your thoughts about this group? What are your judgments about the homeless?

When I started writing Kate’s Way I wanted it to be a light and fun novel because I was becoming jaded with my own writing. I needed to lift my writing style and let myself enter a new world, if only for a short time. But as I wrote, certain issues about relationships filtered into the manuscript and then, without warning, I was adding scenes about the homeless. Maybe this all came to a head through my own experiences. In the last decade I’ve been homeless a good five times. It was an experience too big to hold. Wasn’t I a professional? Didn’t I have two college degrees? But when you are sick, can’t work and have times where no one will offer their extra bedrooms, life becomes pretty ugly, fast.

Again: What would you do if approached by a homeless person? My main character in Kate’s Way, Katie Abrams, was approached one day walking alone, to her new home in a new town when a grocery item fell out of its bag. Maybe you’d respond the same way Katie did. Maybe not. If I can entice the reader to consider responding with a sense of decency and humanity rather than judgment, then Kate’s Way worked for good. If I got the reader to re-think its mindset on the homeless matters in this country, than Kate’s Way worked for good. Isn’t that what any author wants: to take the world and change it, one letter at a time?

Until next time,
Jan